I get to be the one

This song has been stuck on repeat in my house, mind, and heart. One of my favorite artists. Take a listen, it's sweet, and speaks my heart in many ways.

http://www.myspace.com/jjhellermusic/music/songs/i-get-to-be-the-one-83704409

Here are the lyrics:

Well hello, little baby
Your eyes have never seen the sun
You should know, little baby
That I am the lucky one

I get to be the one, to hold your hand
I get to be the one
Through birthdays and broken bones
I'll be there to watch you grow
I get to be the one

Don't feel alone now, little baby
Do you hear me singing you a song
I can't wait to show you, little baby
How to crawl
How to walk
How to run

I get to be the one, to hold your hand
I get to be the one
Through birthdays and broken bones
I'll be there to watch you grow
I get to be the one

How does someone so small
Hold my heart so tightly
I don't even know you
I love you completely

signed, sealed, delivered!

Big day today! We all reached an agreement, and they've benn signed, notorized, and are in the mail.

I am excited. Nervous. Hopeful. So many things! Signing something that will hold fast for the next 18+ years, well, it's hard to get my mind around that length of time. Crazy.

Promises of love, picutres, updates. A future of relationships, friendships, visits, extra love. In a way, we get to toot your horn to others who have their fingerprints all over you! That is exciting to me!

Lord, whatever you want. It's in Your hands. Waiting patiently, to toot ... Little One's horn :)

mouth curve

How does something as simple, as natrual as a smile, bring so much joy? Peace? Comfort? Warmth? And, sometimes even, tears?

A smile on a child. A smile on a mother. A smile on a friend. A smile on the dear elderly man who is thinking of his love who is no longer with him. They all have their own reasons for the smile that's happening on their lips. Some may be obvious, some not. But for any reason, I am thankful for it, the simple smile.

We've seen all the smiles in your family now. Such sweet joy. And, I can't help but look, and smile in return. They don't see my mouth curve in joy back at them, but I hope they feel it, somehow. I hope and pray they know and feel that you will be ok.

Lord, give them reason upon reason to smile. To know they are giving life to this little one. To know they are giving such a gift, to us. And someday, may we see the smiles on each other, face to face.

socks

A Silly Me post.

Not too far from here, is the birthplace of the sock monkey. You know the one. Brown with the red lips? Irresistible.

Well, I have a bag of those special socks, and tonight I made the little one their very own sock BUNNY. I don't know that I have the skill to make the monkey, at least not yet, but I sure do have the skill for a bunny! So, bunny it is!

I started making these little bunnies a year ago. My dear friend and I made a bunch and donated them to a children's hospital. I need to keep that up.

I tried my best tonight. Used my favorite sock, gave him extra floppy ears, and a little felt heart right smack on the front of his little body. I thought he'd be so stinking cute! And then, I finished. And, well, I'm not sure if he's a CUTIE, or slightly CREEPY! Oh my.

Either way, he's special. From my heart and hands,
waiting for yours, little one.

flower

Another "click" ... wow, how God works to connect our hearts!

I find myself, always cautious, guarding my heart, protecting myself from hurt. I try not to dream things that will crush me if they don't happen. I don't like to hurt, if it is at all in my control.

But, with you, little one, I have been letting my heart go a bit. Dreaming. Hoping. Here's how. I know that God has me on this path, His path, and I trust Him. So, if He blesses in the way I'm dreaming, hoping, I will be beyond giddy. And, if He keeps me on a path that leads to a different "dream" I must continue to trust. He heals, and I will trust He will if, and when, I need healing.

Here's the latest "click" ...

I was talking again to Debbie, about one of our donors. One of their baby's names is one of the names I've let my heart dream about. This may not seem like such a "click", but you see, I don't linger in the common. The names I love are not your every day normal names. When I heard the name, my heart jumped. How sweet!

She also said they wanted us to know they're praying for us!

Lord, grab this family! Hold them close as they walk this incredible, gift-giving journey. Heap an extra helping of peace in You on them tonight. What selfless sacrifice. What a picture of Your love.

aches

We all have them. Some are deeper than others. Some are more obvious than others. But, no matter what, they are all seen and heard, by Him.

And I'm thankful for that.

O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You have healed me. Psalm 30:2

I love Psalm 30. You should read it! So many great words of truth. Joy in the morning. Mourning into dancing. We cry, He hears. He heals. He restores.

Right now, the hurt may seem overwhelming. Place it at His feet. Be overwhelmed, by HIM alone.

Right now, the pit may seem deep. Place it at His feet. Let HIM lift you out.

Right now, joy may seem unreachable. Remember, He is JOY, He is in YOU, let HIM be your joy!

Right now, loneliness seems to consume. Remember, He is all consuming. Be consumed, by HIM alone.

Remember, you are worth{lots}.

Lord, may we place our aches at Your feet. Heal. Restore. Thank You for being our Protector!

conversation

Waiting. Something I don't like to do, but find myself doing, A LOT. Waiting on the Lord though, that is a blessing I can endure!

We spoke with Debbie, our friend in the mediation process of this journey, a few nights ago. What a joy she is! She had such wisdom and insight into this part of our adventure, and I am very thankful for her! She is speaking to the donor couples in the next few days, and I'm beyond excited to hear back from her and get to know them more!

God "clicks" our hearts with similarities. Here are some "clicks" I've discovered, for me:

{Photography}
{Coconut Shrimp}
{Survivor}
{"P" Names}

I am curious as to who you will be. What the Lord has in store for you. What joys and blessings you will bring to Him, in all. I am excited to build a relationship with your GPs (Genetic Parents) ... really excited! I hope to share in the journey of YOU with THEM! I am praying for them, and this. Again, what a gift they are giving! YOU!

Lord, Your will in ALL ... may I not lose sight of that!

delight

This girl. She is worth{lots}. Look at what He says about her in His Word:

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take DELIGHT in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. :: Zephaniah 3:17

Delight. I love that word. He DELIGHTS in you. He TAKES GREAT PLEASURE in you. He TAKES JOY in you. That is screaming that you are WORTH{LOTS}! Can you hear it? Can you hear Him? You, my friend, are worth{lots}! Please, hold on to that. Hold on to Him.

I am sometimes, most of the time, amazed how His children buy the lies the evil one throws at them. I say most of the time, only because the other times I buy the lie about myslef. I don't seemed as "shocked" when the lie is about me. I accept it as truth. It isn't.

Lord, calm her fears tonight. Thank You for being her mighty Savior. Thank You for being my mighty Savior. Thank You that we are worth{lots} to You.

what's in a name

One of my 8 year old friends is pretty excited about you, the possibility of you. The other day she noticed my "Wish List" chalkboard hanging on the wall.

"What's your wish list for?"

"Oh, those are things I'm praying for."

"Why are you praying for a SNOW ANGEL?!"

"Well, you see, that's what I call the baby we hope to adopt ... 'Snow Angel' ... "

"So, when someone asks her what her name is, she'll say, SNOW ANGEL?"

I couldn't help but laugh. Such sweetness.

welcome, Juliet

For some time now, my heart has been drawn to Uganda. I don't know exactly where it came from, other than the Lord, but I continually desire to be a part of ministry there. My ideal would be to abandon all and live there, just like they live, and take in precious ones with no home or family left to call their own.

But, maybe my ideal isn't the Lord's. Maybe He's drawn my heart to Uganda for this little one. Juliet. Today we jumped on the gift of being able to sponsor her. Food. Education. Health. And, most of all, most importantly, Jesus. The truth of who He is.

She is 5. With large, winning eyes, that would melt you in a second. She lives in an AIDS affected part of the world, but thankfully, still has both her parents, and numerous siblings. I will pray that You, Lord, catch her heart, so she can spread Your truth to her family.

Welcome to our family, Juliet! You are worth{lots}.

We are given much, so much is expected. And I'm thankful for that!

attitude of gratitude

She is a gift. Worth{lots}, to You, me, and so many others. Over coffee we met, chatted, laughed, and sometimes even, were a bit teary-eyed. What a blessing she is. How she trusts You. How she leans into You. How she is OK because of You, even when she's hurting because of life. Her faith in You stretches mine. I'm so thankful for that, for You bringing that grace into my life through her.

Lord, thank You for her, my friend. Give her an extra dose of Your steadfast love tonight as You hold her tight.

in His image

I saw her this weekend. She brings me such joy, and I love her. I like to think I get some of my crazy from her. I like to think I'm her favorite, as much as she denies it. She is Rose, and she is worth{lots}.

again, yes

The second family said YES to us as well!

This is very humbling for me. How can I ever repay the gift of love given? I am excited to know your family, as you grow in ours.

A sweet gal once said to me, "Adopted babies grow in your heart, instead of under it." How precious that both could, Lord willing, be possible. Grown in the heart AND under it! And, if not in His plan to grow under, the love will continue to grow in my heart, waiting to be given.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord! :: Psalm 27:14

they chose us

It's hard for me to grasp. They said yes! They said we could adopt you!

My head is spinning. What an honor. Blessing. Gift. When I think about it, I can hardly contain myself. I want to dance with joy! I want to cry tears of unbelief. I want to hug them, thank them. What a decision. I am so humbled. To allow another to adopt your baby, frozen, waiting for a home. To believe and trust, this is the family God has for your baby, to experience love and life, and most of all, Christ. Ah! I just can't express my thankfulness with words.

Thank you, Lord. You are above all. May I still hold loosely to this life, and tightly to You.

snow angel

I'm thankful that the Lord is above my will.

Life is never as imagined. Our minds have their ways of dreaming and envisioning what we see as perfect. But, maybe our "perfect" isn't perfect at all. God is the only perfect, after all. So, we travel the path that He longs for us to travel. The one that brings us close to Him. The one that makes us cling to Him. His life is perfect. Spilled on us.

His perfect for us is His path.

So, it strikes me. There is a little life waiting. Frozen. Waiting. Life. LIFE. Waiting for a family, home, love. Waiting to be shown Christ in the every day.

Today, we chose your family. Now, we wait, again. Wait for them to say "yes" to us. I wish patience was an easy thing for me.

Until then, I will pray. I will pray the Lord brings you life outside your snow angel state. I will pray the Lord will bring you into a family. In His time. If not ours, another that will teach you His love. And, I will beg to lean on Him.

in His image

I love that He's created us in His image. That screams worth{lots}, don't you think? It's her birthday, and she's worth{lots}.

beginning

Somehow, in the mess of things, we've named ourselves "worthless" ... this is contrary to what we are because of Christ. John 1:15 says, 'But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to be children of God." A child of God. That screams "worth{LOTS}" to me. Let's change our mindset. Worth{lots}.