pregnant thoughts

Debbie, our mediator, told me the other day to "think pregnant thoughts!" It was cute and made me smile.

So, I've been trying, little by litte, to do so, while still trying to balance the possibility of things not going the way I have longed for. His plan tho, not mine. I know He CAN, and I will continue to hold to that. I will curve my thoughts to His.

My dreams however, I have little control of. I can assure you, I have never had a dream where I was pregnant. Well, I take that back. I did once, in high school. I know, weird. I had married this older guy that I crushed on and had a major love/hate relationship with. I was very pregnant, in labor, and he was rushing me to the hospital in his little bitty car, wreckless as ever (I hated the way he drove), scaring the living daylights out of me. I specifically remember being terrified around one specific part of the road that takes a drastic curve from east to south. I was not happy.

This road and curve is the way to our hospital, still, so let's hope, should Little One come, Jerome does a lot better driving than this guy in my dream did.

I had a dream a few weeks ago, regarding the transfer. Here's the dialogue while I was waiting for the Dr. to do the transfer.

Well, we accidentally thawed five embryos, so we're going to give you five.

What? Wait. I thought you couldn't do that?

We have no choice. We're giving you five.

The rest of the dream I walked around, hunched over, with my arms out like shields protecting my belly, saying ...

Don't touch me!!!! THEY GAVE ME FIVE!!!!

A few nights ago, I had another dream. I don't remember much about this one, other than we had twins, and I named them some ridiculous poem thing. Mega long. I remember calling it out, and it took me forever to say it. Sounds like something I would do.

Last night I had a dream that we had twins again, and they were little toddlers, barely walking, shopping in a mall with me. They were each carrying their own little bags of treasures they had found, following me around like puppies. This one is kind of odd to me because I'm not a big shopper. Hmpf. Curious.

All this to say, whatever my daytime thoughts lack in the "pregnant" area, my nighttime thoughts will make up for.

Oh, and I'm starting a new label for this type of post. I have a feeling there will be an abundance of stories, should we be pregnant.